FUNNYNESS!!!
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: in my life, ozzy
Topic: Nothing in particular
The Onion, Best of Yesterday's News, brings you:

Least-Wanted Gift Certificates

1. One free hour of she-male bodywork from Tatiana.

2. $10 and Ajar: The Door-Jamb Superstore

3. Half-day pass to Two Flags Good America

4. $20 at The Smorgasmorgue

5. Three-year subscription to Plus-Size Bride magazine

6. $12.50 at Professor Pucker's Gently Used Sex-Toy Emporium